My Battle Cry, My Heart's Sigh

This is my battle cry
For the earth to worship
All the earth to worship
This is my heart's sigh
For the earth to worship
All the earth to worship the Son

Kiss the Son, giving homage due His Name
Kiss the Son, giving glory for His fame

Bow the knee to the one and reigning King
Bow the knee to see on earth His heavenly reign

Raise a voice for grace and truth to be restored
Raise a voice in spirit and truth to adore

Who is this King of glory?
Jesus, Name above all Names
Who is this King of glory?
Jesus Sovereign Majesty

Redemption Cry

I'm not sure what inspired the following poem(?) last night at 1am. Restless getting to sleep, to much caffeine. This awakened in me a restless desire for completion. I realized, yet again, that nothing created will complete me and set my soul at rest. Even a temporary union with another here will be just that... temporary. It will be only as complete as both wish it to be through the sharing that is permitted. Only continual interaction with the Creator brings the completion, fullness, and true answer to the longing of my heart. It is not that He is unable to answer; rather I am not always willing to call out to the right source. And He is always initiating!!!


Do you hear the rustling of leaves, twigs, and branches on a thousand trees as they are swayed by the unseen wind?

Do you hear the tiny ripples crashing together, on top of each other, making large and wide the waves that crash on a thousand beaches?

Do you know the shifting sands as tiny rocks exchange places millions upon millions of times, making new shapes for only my eyes to see?

Do you see the stars burning brighter and brighter until they burn so bright that they are invisibly white to the human eye?

These voices and others -- they cry out, longing for release, freedom, to live in the full expression for which they were created...

Redemption Cry... Freedom Cry... voices singing since the beginning of time: of their love and adoration of ME. Love songs for their CREATOR.

If a person were to echo or sing such a song of LOVE, s/he would find assurance of only ONE who would return that song.

The G_D who created , fashioned, and formed you in the deepest hidden parts.

The G_D who sees you through and through -- in light and dark, good and bad, righteousness and sin -- yet who's LOVE is still the same, through and through.

No other would or can return your song with all-encompassing, fulfilling, holy, and true LOVE -- through and through.

Focused on tiny worlds, even yourselves, many would not even try; those who would try would falter. For all other replies are echoes, shadows, mirrors of the ONE true LOVE.

Yet among those who try that are echoing, shadowing, mirroring the ONE true LOVE, the G_D, the CEATOR, a glimmer can be felt, received, even enjoyed; in this capacity we are HIS vessels.

So I sing my song loud for the G_D who can reply and wills to reply!!! To the G_D who put the song of Holy Uncomparable LOVE in my heart.

And whomever shall join in that song -- be it the earth, moon, sky, animals, another person, or the angels -- shall be my brother, sister, father, and mother.

And together we shall sing HIS SONG until the day comes when HE completes redemption and we shall all sing as ONE.

Seeing Beauty From The Place of Prayer

A distinguished art critic was studying an exquisite painting by the Italian Renaissance master Fillipino Lippi one day. He stood in London's National Gallery gazing at the fifteenth century depiction of Mary holding the infant Jesus on her lap, with saints Dominic and Jerome kneeling nearby, but the painting troubled him. There could be no doubting Lippi's skill, his use of color or composition. But the proportions of the picture were slightly wrong: The hills in the background seemed exagerated, as if they might topple out of the frame at any minute onto the gallery's polished floor. And the two kneeling saints just looked awkward and uncomfortable.

Robert Cumming was not the first to criticize Lippi's work for its poor perspective, but he may well be the last to do so, because at that moment he had a revelation. It suddenly occurred to him that the problem might be his. The painting he was analyzing with clinical objectivity was not just another piece of religious art hanging in a gallery alongside other comparitive works. It had never been intended to come anywhere near a gallery. Lippi's painting had been commissioned as an altarpiece, intended to stand in a place of prayer.

And so, self-consciously, the dignified art critic in the public gallery dropped to his knees before the painting. And suddenly he saw what generations of art critics had missed. From his newfound position of humility, Robert Cumming found himself gazing up at a perfectly proportioned piece. The forground had moved naturally to the background, while the saints seemed settled - their awkwardness, like the painting itself, having turned to grace. And as for Mary, she now looked intently and kindly directly at him as he knelt at her feet between saints Jerome and Dominic.

It was not the perspective of the painting that had been wrong all these years -- it was the perspective of the people looking at it. Robert Cumming on bended knee had found a beauty that Robert Cumming the proud art critic could not. All these years, the joke had been upon the succession of experts standing, studying, and analyzing instead of kneeling humbly in prayer.

Peter Greig shared and, further, comments on this story in his book The Vision and the Vow saying this:

When -- like that art critic -- we drop the facade of pompous posturing and fall to the floor in prayer, we gain a new perspective on life that brings out beauty and grace in a world that had previously seemed so chaotic. Outwardly, nothing has changed: We close our Bibles, leave the worship time, return from retreat, and the same old stuggles and distortions present themselves as truth.

But while they may not have changed, we have.

Now we gaze up at the picture and find beauty and perspective where once we could only see faults and flaws. What's more, we begin to understand that we have a place in the overall composition of the picture -- kneeling among the saints in worship. And as we do so, the most wonderful shift takes place: Our vision is renewed to see JESUS right in the center of it all.

The following is a link to see Fillipino Lippi's Painting. Just scroll down until you come to his name and the painting will be to the side of his mini-bio. The Virgin and Child with Saints Jerome and Dominic

The Car Alarm Took Me Down Memory Lane

Today I encountered a car alarm in the DHS parking lot that was going on and off during my whole 30-minute break. My mind instantly jumped into "remember" mode and I was back in college at UCSB living in the dorms where random car alarms going off filled the backdrop of the sounds of my world. I lived in the dorms for three years and amidst the sounds of parties, movies, people's chatter, music, the ocean, the wind, foghorns going off in the distance, and many other random things. Car alarms stand out as one of the more irritating and, therefore, more prevalent sounds from college.

Since I'm on this trip, here are some other "college" memories (I'll stick to the clean ones):

Taking walks on the beach and in the lagoon with my guitar and spending hours playing and worshipping and praying to God.

Getting lost sometimes on these walks in th winter because the fog was so thick you could only see 3 ft in front of you.

Tree climbing barefoot (for better traction) all the way to the top of 2 and 3 story trees on campus with a good friend just for fun.

Trying to start a Bible Study my junior year for Christians only to discover all the Christians in my dorm were interested in the "other" major Christian group on campus. I and a close friend ended up hosting a religious discussion group for non-Christians most of the year.

Sophomore year people in my Bible Study "bullyed" me into leading worship for us. I had only been playing guitar for three weeks and knew only 4 songs -- which we sang over and over again to their dismay for the first six weeks.

After being at UCSB for only three weeks finding myself on a boat heading to Catalina Island for the first of many "Campus By The Sea" Christian retreats with InterVarsity. My most vivid memory from that trip is being on the top deck of the channel cruiser, singing worship songs that I didn't know (I knew only hymns) at the top of my lungs amidst beautiful harmonies, people expressing their love and devotion to God, and people loving on each other with the love of Jesus.

Working in the cafeteria clearing out plates, bowls, and glasses for washing. True creativity with food and beverages begins not at age 3 but when you turn 18, live in the college dorms and have to survive on dormitory food.

Waking up and preparing for class each morning to my roommate who would stare at me with his eyes half-open (sometimes completely open) in a dazed and dreamy way from his bed. I later learned that when sleeping his eyes don't completely shut. But his mind sure did. We had many conversations which he couldn't recall.

Burning through finals week with Mountain Dew, functioning on a regimen of 6 hours of study for every 2 hours of sleep, holing up in classrooms and using the chalkboards to practice chemical equation after chemical equation, and working off my frustration and anxiety with guitar playing and random road trips.

Playing Ultimate Frisbee with the guys from my freshman hall several times a week for the first quarter and then every weekend for the rest of the year.

Taking "Logic"as an ellective and feeling lost during most of the class and like it was a waste of time. This surprised me because I had always thought of myself as an intellectual. Thank God I took it "Pass / No Pass." (I did pass). Being taught from a book (the Proffessor read from the book during class) didn't spurn my interest any further in what was already somewhat of an uninteresting subject to me in the first place.

Discovering the music library where I could control the sounds around me and study and relax in peace (compared to the main library where you couldn't have food, people talked all the time, and you couldn't get away from smells -- especially B.O.).

Overdosing on caffeine so much one semester during finals that I hardly got any sleep and forgot nearly everything I studied. I still don't know how I passed and even excelled... by the grace of God.

The entire guys's wing of my Freshman dorm hall was freaked out for nearly half the year because of experimentation with a Ouija Board. Apparently they contacted a spirit who decided to inhabit one guy's room and it wouldn't leave. One of the inhabitants almost went insane.

Leading the final set of worship at the last Catalina "Campus By the Sea" retreat I attended -- a disastrous experience. Our default worship leader broke his finger and couldn't play. No one else wanted to fill in. Everything that could go wrong did: I missed chords, songs didn't sound right, I and the other vocalists were off-key, and the audience decided to staunchly not to even make an effort to participate. I resolved that I was "through" with worship after this experience. Several months later I heard God laughing about this (He was all along) as I was asked to be a main instrumental and vocal contributor for the worship team of my new post-college church. I accepted the invitation and that began 8 years of participation on the worship team.

Reckoning Part 1: Things to "Consider as True"

In Romans 6:11 New King James Version we are told to (in view of the realities and truths expressed before) "reckon ourselves dead to sin and alive to God." Reckoning means to consider something as being true -- in a personal, identifiable way for ourselves. In Scripture whenever we are commanded to "reckon" something, likewise we are to "consider it as being true" in light of the things that have happened.

There are many things that have happened and are to be "considered as true" for the believer in Christ (one who has faith in Him and claims Jesus as His Savior, Lord, Master, Guide, God, Teacher, and source and means of salvation) through Jesus' death on the cross and raising from the dead. Paul the apostle often referred to believers who had this faith as being "in Christ." A key aspect of being "in Christ" that Paul mentions over and over again is that we "walk by the Spirit" -- that is entire study in itself.

Using different translations and looking at the Scriptural context, I discovered many things believers are to "reckon" or "consider as true". For the full reason as to why we are to do this, look at the context of the verses around the truth... Therein is found reason for faith in the Lord to "consider it so." Often the very simple reason is: Jesus died on the cross as a sinless man for our sins and God the Father raised Him from the dead.

I've started with a list from the Book of Romans. Others will soon follow.

Things to "Consider as Being True" (From the Book of Romans)
1. We are to consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Jesus (Romans 6:11).
2. Our faith in the God who raised Jesus from the dead is considered as righteousness to us by God... and Abraham's righteousness is applied to us also on the basis of our and his faith(Romans 4:21-25).
3. We are to consider a man to be declared righteous not by works but by faith (Romans 3:24-28).
4. Having been freed from sin, we are able, allowed, permitted to be slaves to Christ and we become his slaves by obeying from the heart his teaching and so reap many glorious benefits [this sounds bad, but it is really a GOOD thing] (Romans 6:17, 18, 22).
5. Through the body of Christ [which died] we have died to the Law [which says be justified by obeying everything] and have been released from living by it to attain holiness or salvation. Now we serve [God] in the newness brought in by the Holy Spirit (Romans 7:1-6).
6. There is NOW no condemnation for us who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
7. God did this: He condemned sin in the flesh by sending His own son. Because of this the requirements of the Law are fulfilled in us through Christ, who is our righteousness (Romans 8:3-4, 1Corinthians 1:30).
8. If the Spirit of God dwells in us: We will willingly subject oursevles to God's holy law; We can please God; We will have a mind full of life and peace; We belong to God (Romans 8:6-9).
9. From being in Christ, our spirit is ALIVE because of righteousness though our body is dead because of sin (Romans 8:10).
10. God, who raised Jesus from the dead, will also give life to our mortal bodies through His Spirit which dwells in us (Romans 8:11).
11. The sufferings we experience here and now are nothing in comparison to the coming glory that will be revealed in us through Christ (Romans 8:18).

The Finer Points of Confrontation Part 2: Resolution

In the continual process of learning, I sat down with my co-worker and managers to work out the previously described situation. What followed opened my eyes (not necessarily in a new way) to the dynamics that can affect working relationships.

First, I apologized for confronting her about behavior that did not concern her actions (in that instance) towards me. We discussed the particular behavior that bothered me... and I discovered that I do othe same thing. Matthew 7:1-6 came instantly to mind. I didn't see the speck in my eye and couldn't clearly see hers.

The more important reasons for our "buildup" were misunderstandings and different ways of dealing with confrontation. In the aftermath of our previous engagement, she had distanced herself from me which I took as rejection or her continuing to be upset. Both of us also contributed to a growing frustration by ineffective means of communication.

I am working on my communication. Of great irritance to me (and to others) is my soft-spokenness. I repeat myself so often to get heard because of this... so I need to exercise those lungs and speak up and out. And, how I ask people to do things is important as well. Not in a demanding, bossy way but as a request for help -- using words like, "Please" and "Could..."

I also discovered that this method of conflict resolution is not one I want to pursue in the future. Using the time of upper management brought an edge to situation that was unnecessary and not beneficial for anyone involved. With a closer glance at the details, we discovered this could have been resolved with a much simpler dialogue between myself, the employee, and immediate management. Lesson learned!!

Laying Up Treasue In Heaven

Last week I had a vision during worship that (for me) really clarified some of what it means to lay up for ourselves "treasure in heaven":

During worship at my Bible Study I saw myself and others, a great and numberless multitude, worshipping before the Throne of God. We are all singing and yelling and praising God with music, even though I couldn't see instruments anywhere.

As I continued in worship, the Lord said, "Look at yourself. What do you see?" This took me by surprise because I would normally think God wants me focused on Him -- we were in worship. I looked and noticed two things: that I was holding hands with the believers around me... and, in fact, everyone was holding hands. This seemed to symbolize a connection of some sort. I also noticed that my guitar was attached to my body. The guitar's neck went up my arm and was joined to it and the body of the guitar was joined to my torso. It was physically attached, physically a part of me -- if you removed the guitar you would be removing part of "Jason."

Then I was reminded of Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

What I saw were two "treasures" that I am laying up in heaven, ones that are a part of my kingdom experience here on earth and which will not be taken away from me: relationships with people that are saved (or pre-saved, I think too) and worship through voice and guitar.

Seeing the guitar being a "part" of me drove the message home really clear. My guitar is the one possession I own which is entirely devoted to God. I started playing guitar shortly after becoming a Christian solely to worship God and have used it for that one purpose ever since. I know one secular song and have no interest in learning any others. This is an instrument and gift that is "holy unto the Lord."

The degree to which I use things on this earth for kingdom purposes will determine how much they are with me in heaven as treasures in heaven. But of particular meaning for me will be the use of my guitar and the time I spend with people for the purposes of God.

The "Mark of the Beast" is here... at least in parts!!!

Well, all the pieces are in place now for the development and incorporation of the mark of the Beast outlined in Revelation 13:16-18 "And he causes all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free men and the slaves, to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead, and he provides that no one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either the name of the beast or the number of his name. Here is wisdom Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for the number is that of a man; and his number is six hundred and sixty-six." NASB

Consider:
1. We already have a universal pricing and tracking system -- the UPC codes on all the items we purchase. Even perishable items such as fruits and vegetables will soon be tracked by the UPC system with the development of ink stamps that can be scanned and which are edible.
2. Universal currency?? Well, it probably won't be the Euro or any hard currency. It will be data. With computers, we now have the ability to conduct transactions accounting for currency exchange rates in a split second.
3. The advent of wireless technology is allowing for access to information at quicker and quicker rates without the need for cables, etc. It is only a matter of time before technology buffs figure out how to ensure privacy of information over the wireless net... and then you will see a big change in the way business is done.
4. And for the personal touch, we have the RFID chip (read below) allowing people to have access to all their passwords, conduct basic day-to-day operations, and perform business transactions with an implant that works with a reader and computers.


Article: Computer Chips Get Under Skin of Enthusiasts By Jamie McGeever
Thu Jan 5, 9:33 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Forgetting computer passwords is an everyday source of frustration, but a solution may literally be at hand -- in the form of computer chip implants. With a wave of his hand, Amal Graafstra, a 29-year-old entrepreneur based in Vancouver, Canada, opens his front door. With another, he logs onto his computer. Tiny radio frequency identification (RFID) computer chips inserted into Graafstra's hands make it all possible. "I just don't want to be without access to the things that I need to get access to. In the worst case scenario, if I'm in the alley naked, I want to still be able to get in (my house)," Graafstra said in an interview in New York, where he is promoting the technology. "RFID is for me."

The computer chips, which cost about $2, interact with a device installed in computers and other electronics. The chips are activated when they come within 3 inches of a so-called reader, which scans the data on the chips. The "reader" devices are available for as little as $50 (29 pounds). Information about where to buy the chips and readers is available online at the "tagged" forum, (http://tagged.kaos.gen.nz/) where enthusiasts of the technology chat and share information.

Graafstra said at least 20 of his tech-savvy pals have RFID implants. "I can't feel it at all. It doesn't impede me. It doesn't hurt at all. I almost can't tell it's there," agreed Jennifer Tomblin, a 23-year-old marketing student and Graafstra's girlfriend.

Mikey Sklar, a 28-year-old Brooklyn resident, said, "It does give you some sort of power of 'Abracadabra,' of making doors open and passwords enter just by a wave of your hand." The RFID chip in Sklar's hand, which is smaller than a grain of rice and can last up to 100 years, was injected by a surgeon in Los Angeles. Tattoo artists and veterinarians also could insert the chips into people, he said. For years, veterinarians have been injecting similar chips into pets so the animals can be returned to their owners if they are lost.

Graafstra was drawn to RFID tagging to make life easier in this technological age, but Sklar said he was more intrigued by the technology's potential in a broader sense. In the future, technological advances will allow people to store, transmit and access encrypted personal information in an increasing number of wireless ways, Sklar said.

Wary of privacy issues, Sklar said he is developing a fabric "shield" to protect such chips from being read by strangers seeking to steal personal information or identities. One advantage of the RFID chip, Graafstra said, is that it cannot get lost or stolen. And the chip can always be removed from a person's body. "It's kind of a gadget thing, and it's not so impressive to have it on your key chain as it is to have it in you," Sklar said. "But it's not for everyone."

Sklar's girlfriend, Wendy Tremayne, has yet to be convinced. She said she probably would not inject the computer chip into her body unless she thought it was a "necessity." "If it becomes more convenient, I may," said the 38-year-old artist and yoga teacher. "(But) I'd rather have an organic life."


With technology developing as fast as it is, this system could be up and running in developed nations within 5-10 years. I honestly didn't think I'd get to see such things happen in my lifetime. Jesus has always warned us to be ready. Now, more than ever, this is a word to take to heart.

This topic could go a long way, but here are some other things of note to consider:
>The UPC symbol is a compterized numbering system. If you look on a common UPC symbol, you'll notice that it has a beginning, middle, and end set of bars that are longer than the other. The numerical value of these bars is "666."
>Interestingly enough, the UPC scanning/computer system that was developed functioned under only one configuration -- using a system of bars that had permanent values of "666" in the places now found on the UPC symbol.
>The computer that first ran this system was called, jokingly by the developers, "The Beast." Funny how non-believers will do things just to be funny or poke fun at the Christian faith, but sometimes they are unwittingly taking part in prophecy.

For an interestsing website detailing some End times stuff, check out: Daniel's Timeline.
http://www.danielstimeline.com/

The author of this site is, I believe, a Messianic Believer b/c of the terminology he uses. The points he makes for the chronology of the end times (being very soon) is at once intriguing and alarming. I would be interested to hear other opinions about his interpretations.

Fullness, Laughter, and Joy

Praying more about my desire to genuinely feel sorrow, I realized this weekend that what God wants to restore is fullness -- a deeper and fuller ability to feel everything: be it sorrow or joy, sadness or laughter. I wrote in my journal, "Just as much as I need tears, I need laughter and joy too. The cry of my heart is not just for deep healing, but the ability to fully experience and enjoy life!! Give me laughter, too, O God."

In response to this prayer the Lord replied, "Don't keep looking back at your attemts at repentance at your sorrow. They've been genuine but it is all past -- the joy of the Lord [in you, in Christ] is your strength. THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH. I am loving you out of your unbelief in my goodness, that I am as good as I really say that I am."

Much of this happened while at a worship service and that evening several encouraging words were spoken through the Holy Spirit, echoing what God was saying to me personally:
"This year is all about God's grace... you don't get grace unless you need it. Are you aware of your need?"
"It is God's year and it is all about HIM."
"The link between grace and power is joy."
"Entering the rest of God... is done by agreeing with God's promises today; as long as it is Today God's promises are true and available to us. He keeps setting the date forward to "Today" persevering in lovingkindness towards us because He wants us to believe them and receive of His desires for us. The rest is agreeing with the fact that God, our Daddy, is good; believing in it, putting all your bets and hopes on that."

A companion song to "Give Me Tears" will soon be written. I have bits and pieces coming together. It is a song that will be wedded to the other because it reflects the others side -- laughter and joy in the Lord. Same melody and chords, but sung lighter and faster with more fullness to the lyrical content.

The Finer Points of Confontation

On my friend Peter's blog, we recently concluded a dialogue about "Confronting Sin" so it is ony fitting that recent experiences (and God) are teaching some of the finer points about confrontation -- of sin, though? I'm not sure.

The situation at hand concerns a co-worker of mine who has a bossy and pushy attitude. She has worked here longer, but is new to our department. The guideline is: when you start in this department, you go to the bottom of seniority b/c it's all based on experience and "time on the books." Unfortunately, her attitude has often betrayed her better instincts to honor this code and she has been bossing many of us around, including myself.

I was able to turn a blind eye and accept this as a part of her personality initially. Then, it went from being an occasional occurrence to 3 times a week... then every day... and then several times a day, particularly on the days when her workload was heavy. I turned into one of her favorite targets.

Two weeks ago, I finally reached "situation critical" and decided I needed to confront her. I let my emotions get the best of me, though, and chose the wrong battleground: a volatile incident involving someone else. I didn't realize what I had done until, now 2 weeks later, she is giving me the cold shoulder and gossipping about the situation.

I owe her an apology, for I chose the wrong battleground. I should have waited for another opportuntiy involving myself or, even better, talked to her about the past occurrences when I was not so emotional. Better yet, maybe I should have taken this to our supervisor (though, I thought it best not to involve them on something that could have been taken care of between two employees. Why bother leadership unecessarily?).

Now I am facing the hard choices: 1) Eat humble pie and apologize to my co-worker; 2) Bring this situation to the attention of management so that the gossip can stop and she can be properly confronted about her behavior; 3) Learn the proper process at work for dealing with these kind of situations. It's going to be a hard week at work.

Desires and Dreams for 2006

In no particular order, these are things I am hoping for in 2006 and onward. God help me if He answers all these prayers!!

1. Find venues in which to share my worship music and to minister God's heart and desire to be intimate with us.
2. Move into a shared living situation with some Christians after my lease expires in the Summer.
3. New and deeper friendships with people in Transparency.
4. Resume involvement in Harp and Bowl worship during 24-7 prayer gatherings.
5. Continue my education so I can prepare for advanced certifications in public health microbiology and lab science.
6. Find a mutually satisfying relationship with a woman that will also propel us both forward in our devotion to and love for Jesus (I am actually considering a dating service -- grumble, grumble).
7. Convert my diet from fast-food and semi-healthy grocery sustenance to mostly organic and wholesome choices (better for my budget, too).
8. Gain wisdom and direction on how best to appropriate the financial assets I've received from my father's estate.
9. Resume playing guitar and singing for the purpose of facilitating worship.
10. Keep the Sabbath as a day of rest in the Lord (I am choosing Saturday as the day. Sunday is just too busy).
11. Get back into the habit of enjoying the outdoors.
12. Learn more guitar techniques (I'd like to learn fingerstyle and lead).

"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." Psalm 37:3-6

Truthful Paradoxes re: the Human Condition in Christ

An ongoing list... What "paradoxes" of the Christian life pop into your mind and turn your world upside down?

>Living sacrifice.
>I am God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus; yet Scripture also says I was birthed in sin.
>To truly enter into life, we must die to ourselves.
>"Life" is at once found localized in a person, "Jesus," in the Everlasting Father, through the ever-present Spirit.
>We give all only to receive even more -- in this life and the life to come.
>We have this treasure of Jesus in fragile jars of clay.
>We are, at times, hard-pressed, perplexed, afraid, hurting, doubting, and yet full of faith, good assurance, hope, love, and confidence in the hope set before us.
>What we seen now is only a glimpse of what is to come. Even as glorious as our vision may be, we seen only as in a shadow or a mirror the glory that is to come in our lives and of Jesus.
>I'm a holy, sanctified sinner.
>Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
>As far as the east is from the west, so far has God removed my transgressions from me. Yet He also says, "For as your forgive others, so will I forgive you."
>I don't know, ever really, how to pray and the Holy Spirit and Jesus prays in my stead with intercessions and cries beyond words.
>The only thing that can keep me from the father is myself. Jesus has opened the way to Him.
>Scripture says that I have the mind of Christ... Yet I also need to actively take captive my thoughts and make them obedient to the knowledge of Christ.
>I am limited on this earth to live in a body. I also have a spirit which can connect to God anytime, anywhere, anyplace.
>God's Word if full of his goodness to me, his commands are good and life for my body and soul. But they often do not feel that way because my flesh is set on it's own way.
>Though my mortal body is dying and decaying day by day, my spirit is being renewed and will live on in Christ Jesus.
>We are to consider our mortal bodies as dead in Jesus in order that His resurrection life might be displayed in us.
>There is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ. When I "become" separate (I never really do), I choose unbelief of this truth.
>We were made a little lower than the angels... we will reign over them and all creation with God in heaven, serving him and each other.
>We are but a breath, a moment in time, a whisper, vapor. Yet God and His word are eternal, everlasting, true forever, enduring.
>Sin is destructive, shaming. But where sin abounded, grace abounds all the more.

Give Me Tears

Written January 2006

Last night I was thinking about some of the losses I've experienced and other things which would inspire tears... and realized that I have cried very little in a long while. More important, though, is that I have repressed sadness, sorrow, and remorse over people and experiences, that is for the last 5 years or so. Previous to that I was a sprinkler (at least in private). I believe deeply that there is healing, hope, forgiveness, and comfort that God releases to those who will truly and genuinely feel. I am earnest in my desire to be genuinely sorrowful over the losses and pains I've known, and regarding my sin. The Bible, I believe, affirms this in distinguishing between "godly sorrow" and "worldly sorrow" when talking about repentance in 2 Corinthians 7.

I also received word that a new friend has experienced a great loss -- his adopted daughter's mother was killed in Oakland last week. He and his family are freshly grieving. I have known this man, Larry, only a short time -- we have led worship together on a couple of occassions and once I have had the privilidge of sitting under his guidance as a worship leader. Out of his need to grieve, He asked me, via a mutual friend, to lead worship with him this Friday at Beulah Prayer House. He had committed to lead worship at their prayer meeting but now he is attending for much needed prayer and ministry from the body of Christ.

Out of these two fresh needs this song "Give Me Tears" was written. It is an expression of my own desire to genuinely cry and feel sorrow and to receive the outflow of godly sorrow... which is hope, comfort, repentance, and joy. It is also an expression of my concern for my friend and his family and their need to genuinely grieve so that they may be comforted.


Sorrow to deep to be felt
Hides in the depths of my heart
Sadness for the past that I've lost
Make me cold in the deepest parts

Give me tears, give me tears
For the losses I've gone through
For the pains old and new
Give me tears, give me tears
For the sin I've held onto
For the ways I still hurt You
Give me tears

Bring the breaking, O God
Bring the breaking, O God
Let me feel again, deep, down inside
Let me feel again, deep, down inside

Invest in Millions or a Life

I saw the film "Millions" last night, about a boy who finds a million English pounds. He and his brother hoard the share and have very different ideas on how to use the money. The younger boy who finds the money wishes to spend it on the poor and finds himself at odds with his older brother who wants to spend it on themselves and on securing "happiness." At war are two worldviews and opposing views on what the purpose of money is truly for.

I was amused and intrigued by the younger boy who had religious visions throughout the movie trying to received guidance on what to do with the money. He is visited by many saints from the ages who instruct him and give opportunity for him to be generous -- all to his older brother's displeasure and disbelief.

As I watched, I wondered, "What would I do with a million dollars? How would I invest it?"

Not a second went by when I heard from the Lord, "You've been given something far more precious -- a life."

My thoughts continuing, "Yes, and how great to use money to invest in lives."

But the message was clear -- far more precious to God is our lives rather than things like money. The greatest investment I can make is in using my life: talents, abilities, time, even possessions wisely to advance His kingdom -- and that, I think, is done by investing in other lives.

Alive [Polished Version]

Written December 2005

Here is the polished version for the lyrics of the song "Alive." Much of this came freshly over New Year's weekend, despite being very sick. Lucidity and feverishness sometimes gives way to good inspiration.

Jesus, running in my veins
Dwelling in my blood
Spirit living in my flesh

Jesus, in body and soul
Making new and whole
Beautiful in holiness

Each day a new revelation
Each day a song of praise
Rising from this union
From the Life, Truth, and Way
Jesus is my Way

In Him I'm alive, the Way from being lost
In Him I'm alive, Life from death on a cross
In Him I'm alive, Truth taking lies away
I'm alive, I'm alive, in Jesus I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive, in Jesus I'm alive

There is no other fountain
No other source that runs so pure
There is no other fountain
That overflows and fulfills