Your Personalilty and the Spiritual Life - Part 1

For a Seminary Assignment, we are reading Reginald Johnson’s book Your Personality and the Spiritual Life and have been asked to evaluate 3 people (including ourselves, if applicable) according to the personal spiritual type presented. While reading the first 6 chapters, I was quickly able to identify three people matching the personality types that were mentioned [in chapters 3-6].

The Energizers (ESTP and ESFP)

Reverend Brian Scramlin: Senior Pastor at my church. He has the “shield” that overwhelms and draws you in. He is expressive, a great storyteller and performer. He is enthusiastic about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. The qualities that make him so endearing and draw people to him can also give the false perception that he desires to be deeply involved in people’s lives, to give them attention. He struggles with saying yes to too many things (people, commitments, hobbies, etc.). He has admitted he struggles with people-pleasing; he doesn’t like to be the person that has to say NO and is really negatively impacted by conflict. Likewise, he finds it more difficult to navigate Pastoral Counseling than other things because there isn’t always a clear answer and way to navigate the conflicts in people’s souls.

Mike Hewitt: From the little time I have spent with Mike during our June cohort, I sensed he was this type of person. He has the energy, enthusiasm. Everything is met with a “Wow,” or “that’s incredible” or “that’s fascinating.” Mike is an encourager and has a heart that is easily moved by compassion. I sense that some of the opportunities for growth that the chapter mentioned are roads that Mike has already traveled down some to journey towards wholeness and temper his enthusiasm and ardor with faithfulness and steadiness.

The Renewers (INFJ and INTJ)

Myself! When I have taken the MBTI the most consistent result is INFJ (sometimes INFP). Reading this chapter I saw myself. I am always seeking depth and meaning in everything. Being in the present is not easy because I always ask, “Why?” and am focused on the past or future a lot. I am not content just to do something “to do it” without knowing the underlying motivation. My preference would be to revitalize people rather than things (which is why I’m considering Pastoral Counseling as an emphasis). I struggle with loneliness which is much of my own making, so I have space to process. I identified with all of the infirmities; overindulgence is one I have struggled with in all of the aspects mentioned (and some not). It makes sense now why video games are an attractive outlet to have fun.

Key insights from this chapter for me were:

1) They have a creation gift of insight and vision.

“As introverted persons, Renewers work privately with their intuitive insights, pondering their meanings and implications, sounding their depths and exploring their richness before they share them with others.”[1]

“…. In groups, for example, you may find that Renewers may be rather quiet, but then they do speak, is it usually worth the wait! They often possess the ability to communicate with eloquence, typically in the language of symbol and imagery.”[2]

“… INFJ Renewers express their gifts through revitalizing people.”[3]

“… Renewers need to resist their (occasional) natural tendency toward stubbornness and listen to the observations and criticisms of others! Otherwise their (intuitive) gift may actually turn into an infirmity!”[4]

2) I identified with all of the infirmities of the Renewer: loneliness, restlessness, indulgence, and overextension.

“Because the most used faculty of the Renewer is intuition, the least used of the mental functions is sensing. Since the senses are the least used and the least trusted, the represent the most repressed and most immature dimensions of the Renewer’s life.”[5] Reginald Johnson goes on to explain that this can mean the Renewers can be subject to temptation to overindulge the senses (entertainment, physical appetites, sexual fantasy, crudest license are all potential sources for getting what is needed in ways that are destructive. This is a key insight for me, since much of the temptation I struggle with pertains to this very thing. I mentioned video games as an outlet above that makes sense; I have been trying now unsuccessfully to phase this out of my life and they key is identifying and embracing new ways to engage my senses in ways that draw me closer to God an allow me to feel engaged and connected with Him and others.

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[1] Reginald Johnson, Your Personality and the Spiritual Life (Gainesville: Center for Applications of Psychological Type, Inc., 1999), 86.

[2] Johnson, 86.

[3] Johnson, 87.

[4] Johnson, 87.

[5] Johnson, 90.

The Parable of My Heart - Part 2

Luke 8:16-18 NASB
16 "Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. 17 "For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor [anything] secret that will not be known and come to light. 18 "So take care how you listen; for whoever has, to him [more] shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has shall be taken away from him.

In this parable (after the Parable of the Sower), Jesus points to a wonderful mystery. "No one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lampstand, so that everyone who come in may see the light." Instead of container, some translations say, "clay pot." No one may do this, but God does! He has placed His Light in jars of clay (2 Corinthians 4:7). He places his treasure in parables (word pictures and living pictures) for use to ponder, seek, question. Sometimes that includes even my own soul.

And He wants us to bring these questions to Him. "His disciples [began] questioning Him as to what this parable meant. And He said, "To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest [it is] in parables, so that SEEING THEY MAY NOT SEE, AND HEARING THEY MAY NOT UNDERSTAND." Luke 8:9-10.

Asking and seeking the God behind the parable brings me into a new space in relationship. It allows me to dialogue to find answers while getting to know the heart of the parable teller.

"For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light." The hope of Glory, Christ Jesus -- His fruit will become evident. Nothing can hide it from shining forth in a life dedicated to him.

As I journey on this new path of self-enlightenment, of this mid-life crisis, it is a new opportunity to know Christ in new ways and to cooperate with Him here and now. Rather than being a path of self-actualization, it is a path that leads me further into the depth and riches of Christ as one who is made in the image of God and called to be an image-bearer of my Maker. My task, as always, is to know, more and more, how Christ shines and wants to shine further through my life.

I need to be open to the ways the Lord wants to raise me up and put me on a lampstand. The promise of this Scripture is that His light will shine through the container of my flesh and spirit (I am a creation made in the image of God, am I not?). I need to be open to the ways His light wants to shine through me in ways different than before.

I found a great key of insight into how Christ's light may want to shine differently through me. In his book Personality and the Spiritual Life, Reginald Johnson writes, "I mentioned above that at first our creation gift may give us the clue as to our best wavelength for the cultivation of our devotional life. However, many of us have experienced another phenomenon. At some point along the way, perhaps as mid-life, we become open in some rather new ways to God. We are discovering that our weak side is becoming our important new channel through which the Lord is refreshing our lives."[1] He further writes, “The most fruitful place of growth for those in the second half of life is in the area which is the polar opposite to their creation gift – the “weak side” is really a kind of inner “buried treasure.”[2]

In Part of 1 of this blog post, I mentioned community being an important part of my current spiritual formation. As an introvert with a capital “I” it cannot be overstated how important community and close relationship are at this juncture and, I believe, will be moving forward. The already close friendships I have with a few good men are vital.

As are the monthly men’s breakfast that I lead. Here I am challenged specifically in ways that are contrary to my introspective and introverted nature: to speak before other men, share my insights (and receive theirs), and lead us together to experience God’s heart through worship, Scripture, and as we share and sharpen each other.

It is something of a challenge to prepare things each time for us. More than once, even after adequate preparation, I have come to men’s breakfast feeling empty like I have nothing to share. It is a challenge to believe I have something to offer (and I do) but the challenge is God’s invitation to step forward in faith and to see that what He places in my heart can be beneficial and encouraging for others.

Then there are my artistic outputs. Chiefly, this has been through a mixture of worship and prayer. For whatever reason, my efforts to practice these in community in the church both local and ecclesiastical have not flourished. God has given me a great outlet for worship: serving on my worship team; seldom now does the desire and spark to write worship songs come as it once did.

Now the flow seems more towards devotional listening: through Scripture, books, and other media. I have not been excited about the study of Scripture either, but after doing some exegesis for a class (and gaining wonderful insight), I am encouraged to embrace this and develop it into a consistent practice.

These are just a few insights that I have had so far. I am sure there will be more!

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[1] Reginald Johnson, Your Personality and the Spiritual Life (Gainesville: Center for Applications of Psychological Type, Inc. 1999), 40.

[2] Johnson, 40.

The Parable of My Heart - Part 1

Yesterday, I had an answer, a way of identifying what has been going on in my heart for a couple months now. I have been asking all kinds of questions... What is the meaning of my life? Is my church the right place for my spiritual and ministry formation? What do many of the things I contemplate doing in ministry seem matched and mismatched (a little) at the same time? Why do I feel defeated and inspired at the same time? Why has Seminary brought a new spark and potentially a desire to change vocations? Why is my heart asking so many questions? (this is just the tip of the iceberg)

Hello Mid-Life Crisis! -- LOL

I'm glad I can laugh about that, that at least is a healthy sign. I take myself seriously but can always step back and laugh too.

Those in my life -- seminary students, church leadership, friends and accountability partners, worship team members - have heard me give voice to all kinds of questions recently. Being the transparent and authentic person I am, I just can't hold inside what I'm feeling. I'm not wired that way.

Starting Seminary last year launched an unexpected start of these questions which has exposed deep yearnings that have long laid dormant.

The Holy Spirit asked me, "What counsel would you give someone who is going through this?"

I answered: Don't make any rash decisions. Keep tight with those in your life who can provide counsel, accountability, and who can listen. Maintain space in relationship with God and the people in your life to ask questions, process, and wait for answers. Make more space to question and process (if necessary). Take care of yourself. Treat yourself from time to time.

Fortunately, I am doing most of these things. I almost started looking for another church, but fell back on good counsel and reasoned with the Holy Spirit that the field I am planted in is very rich for continued growth - both personally and in ministry. I am continuing with Seminary but dropped one course so I can have more space to question and process.

Recently, I began reading and studying the Parable of the Sower. This is a parable at a key time in Jesus' ministry in which people are now coming to him in droves for healing and to hear his message. He has chosen His Disciples (who are now Apostles) and others have joined his small band as unappointed disciples who are following Him. He begins speaking to the crowd in parables and it is here that people are presented with a choice: What do they do with the parables of Jesus? Do they ask Him or leave to ponder the message on their own? Are they coming just for healing and "maybe" to hear what He has to say? Listening and ASKING Jesus is the key. It is the doorway through which one must pass now to move from being part of the crowd to become a disciple.

So then, to WHOM then do I take the parables of my own heart and those things which are not easily unexplainable? Who do I seek and who do I bring my questions to? I am bringing my heart and questions to the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Body of Christ.

ALL are important. Thus far in my journey the Body of Christ has been a place where I can field my questions, give voice to my thoughts, and test whether what I am hearing is God or not (the Body is crucial, don't underestimate the vitality and power of being in close relationship with others in the Church). In my own private times I find further space to question, ponder, process, and reflect.

The Big Five -- personality assessment

https://jesusexpressions.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-big-five-personality-assessment.html

This week I began the next Seminary Class on Spiritual Formation: Personal Assessment and Appraisal. During our first assignment, I completed a different personality assessment called "The Big Five." It is based on the OCEAN model of personality, with the following dimensions:

Open-Mindedness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Negative Emotionality

My results can be viewed here:
https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/results/?o=88,100,75&c=88,94,100&e=63,50,13&a=69,63,19&n=63,75,63&o2=63,38,69&c2=13,44,25&e2=25,50,88&a2=56,94,94&n2=75,69,44&y=1970&g=m&y2=1970&g2=m

My BIG FIVE are:

VERY: Openness to new experiences and Conscientious


More: Introverted, Disagreeable, Nervous and High Strung

I have always been highly introverted. This assessment determined I was not highly introverted, however, and I think that is because I am changing. An overarching reason for my return to church was to be in community with the Body of Christ. The last few years, I have become more aware and honest about my need for companionship and friendship. It is still a big push for me to socialize in non-structured settings; I feel most comfortable in events or groups (and when meeting with individuals) that have a purpose for meeting, other than to socialize and have fun. The challenge boils down to feeling comfortable in my own skin and knowing I have something to offer, even if it is just being present. My introversion can also cause me to isolate, which is the opposite of both solitude and companionship. This has been the biggest change and push: to befriend my alone times and enjoy them with the Lord and to have the right kinds of companionship and people time that are life-giving.

I was surprised I scored so high as "nervous and high strung." I often do have immediate reactions to things, however those reactions do not quickly or easily become outward. Introversion causes me to be an inward processor. I tend to stuff a lot of feelings down, which may be why I am so high strung. In counseling, my prognosis eventually was determined to be "general anxiety about everything." I have progressed in feeling things and distancing myself from codependent tendencies that cause anger, worry, and concern. The challenge now is to find proper expression of feelings. This will allow me to carry anxiety and nervousness much less as I find expression for the loneliness, sadness, fear (for others), and grief that I often feel.

While I am very open to new experiences, I tend to be disagreeable to others who are not. The disagreeable piece is what I will need to work on the most. I can be stubborn, not open to various viewpoints, and somewhat stoic in how I deal with other people. I am prone to make judgements about situations without knowing facts and need to learn to ask questions and get to know people and situations before arriving too quickly at judgements. Even the way I ask a question oftentimes presupposes certain things.

Overall, my introversion and open-mindedness have played big parts in my spiritual and ministry formation. I tend to gravitate towards ministry that heavily relies upon my own relationship with the Lord: what I am learning and praying. Out of this has flowed an active prayer dialogue and is fostering an ability to teach and lead devotions.

I also enjoy hearing from the Lord and ministering His heart to people simply by being their friend. Thus, I have always found myself in accountability groups with men and seek out companionship that allows deep authenticity and transparency. Long term, I can see this being formed into Pastoral Care or being a Spiritual Director. Perhaps even Chaplaincy.

The downside of my introversion and disagreeableness is I don't function on teams that well. Even at work, if I do function on a team, usually it is with 1-2 people. I easily feel lost in the shuffle on big teams unless I have a specific function and role.

I can be depended upon to get things done and am very task-oriented. In ministry, I am finding already this can be tricky since ministry isn't necessarily about completing a task (although sometimes it is) or functioning in a set role. I tend to be so open-minded that I can easily lose focus on essential things. So I am constantly needing to refocus myself on essentials and ministry vision that drives the engine. My conscientiousness is invaluable in this regard since it helps me be aware of when I am losing focus or scrambling - as well as to arrive at answers that are satisfactory to help me continue to move forward. My devotional focus is constantly changing, though I have some "constants" that I regularly revisit: Scripture meditation, journaling, and prayer.

My disagreeableness is the area that needs the most work. I need to learn to use these feelings as bridges rather than to see them as barriers. I have a real desire for authenticity and transparency; when I communicate my disagreeable feelings in ways that allows for this (while restraining from using judging words for my feelings), this does wonders. If I am not careful though, this can build a wall rather than a bridge.

If you would like to access this assessment, please access copy and paste the link below:
https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/