Reflections on my spiritual formation in light of strengths and weaknesses

            My most recent spiritual formation course is coming to a close. This semester I have examined and evaluated my personality, strengths, and weaknesses. Now I am being challenged to consider where these insights place me in the developmental timeline as a leader, how my discoveries impact personal change, and how this has influenced me.

            One of my assignments last semester was to identify which timeline phase I was in as specified in Clinton’s book The Making of a Leader. I thought that I had entered the Ministry Maturing phase and subcategory of the early ministry sub-phase in which the leader is given ministry tasks and challenges.[1] My ministry influence continues to be very direct with men.

            In last semester’s final paper, I wrote about looking for a new church.[2] I was questioning the sufficiency of my ministry context. A month later when starting this class, I had reached a conclusion that I needed to stay planted where I am. This was also probably a test as part of my initial ministry maturing phase. Soon after, the Lord slammed the breaks on my ministry development through my church, due to my Lead Pastor stepping down. Everything I was working on with him (or that he was working on to allow more opportunities for me) has ended or been placed on hold. The Lord has returned my focus mostly to ministering to men in my home. Other changes (soon to come) for seminary education are causing me to slow down and enjoy the journey. Last year I really felt driven to discover my ministry call and to begin to make a transition into vocational ministry. The Lord is slowing me down and has enabled me to take my hands off the steering wheel so that I am no longer trying to force an emergence of my ministry call or any transitions.

            One of my key insights about change from last semester was that awareness is especially important for my change process.[3] Wrestling is also a major component: wrestling with my true need, God’s way to meet it, and the wrong ways that I may be meeting this need.[4] My number one strength, the intelligizer, really helps with these things. Once I gain clarity regarding my need and the proper way to move forward, my Responsibility strength enacts, and I take on complete psychological ownership for my decisions and actions.[5]

            Community is also particularly important for my spiritual formation. Relational and conflict processing, dying to self, confession, obedience by putting myself under the obedience of another are some change factors and means of grace that I identified; these and more are enacted in community.[6] My relational strength pulls me towards deep relationships that allow for these things. Navigating conflict is one of my biggest challenges and my weaknesses seem to be highlighted most during these times; this is especially true as I share my home with others. The community I enjoy is exposing woundedness and allowing for insight and healing. Right now, the ministry I engage in is changing me and is for my own spiritual growth just as much as it is for others.

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[1] Dr. J. Robert Clinton, The Making of a Leader, Colorado Springs: NavPress (1988, 2012), 68.

[2] Jason Fusek, “How God Changes Me”, Marion: Wesley Seminary (2019), 10.

[3] Jason Fusek, “How God Changes Me”, Marion: Wesley Seminary (2019), 1.

[4] Jason Fusek, “How God Changes Me”, Marion: Wesley Seminary (2019), 3.

[5] Don., Clifton, StrengthsFinder 2.0 (New York: GALLUP PRESS, 2017), 149.

[6] Jason Fusek, “How God Changes Me”, Marion: Wesley Seminary (2019), 2, 5, 6.