The Finer Points of Confrontation Part 2: Resolution

In the continual process of learning, I sat down with my co-worker and managers to work out the previously described situation. What followed opened my eyes (not necessarily in a new way) to the dynamics that can affect working relationships.

First, I apologized for confronting her about behavior that did not concern her actions (in that instance) towards me. We discussed the particular behavior that bothered me... and I discovered that I do othe same thing. Matthew 7:1-6 came instantly to mind. I didn't see the speck in my eye and couldn't clearly see hers.

The more important reasons for our "buildup" were misunderstandings and different ways of dealing with confrontation. In the aftermath of our previous engagement, she had distanced herself from me which I took as rejection or her continuing to be upset. Both of us also contributed to a growing frustration by ineffective means of communication.

I am working on my communication. Of great irritance to me (and to others) is my soft-spokenness. I repeat myself so often to get heard because of this... so I need to exercise those lungs and speak up and out. And, how I ask people to do things is important as well. Not in a demanding, bossy way but as a request for help -- using words like, "Please" and "Could..."

I also discovered that this method of conflict resolution is not one I want to pursue in the future. Using the time of upper management brought an edge to situation that was unnecessary and not beneficial for anyone involved. With a closer glance at the details, we discovered this could have been resolved with a much simpler dialogue between myself, the employee, and immediate management. Lesson learned!!