The Big Five -- personality assessment

https://jesusexpressions.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-big-five-personality-assessment.html

This week I began the next Seminary Class on Spiritual Formation: Personal Assessment and Appraisal. During our first assignment, I completed a different personality assessment called "The Big Five." It is based on the OCEAN model of personality, with the following dimensions:

Open-Mindedness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Negative Emotionality

My results can be viewed here:
https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/results/?o=88,100,75&c=88,94,100&e=63,50,13&a=69,63,19&n=63,75,63&o2=63,38,69&c2=13,44,25&e2=25,50,88&a2=56,94,94&n2=75,69,44&y=1970&g=m&y2=1970&g2=m

My BIG FIVE are:

VERY: Openness to new experiences and Conscientious


More: Introverted, Disagreeable, Nervous and High Strung

I have always been highly introverted. This assessment determined I was not highly introverted, however, and I think that is because I am changing. An overarching reason for my return to church was to be in community with the Body of Christ. The last few years, I have become more aware and honest about my need for companionship and friendship. It is still a big push for me to socialize in non-structured settings; I feel most comfortable in events or groups (and when meeting with individuals) that have a purpose for meeting, other than to socialize and have fun. The challenge boils down to feeling comfortable in my own skin and knowing I have something to offer, even if it is just being present. My introversion can also cause me to isolate, which is the opposite of both solitude and companionship. This has been the biggest change and push: to befriend my alone times and enjoy them with the Lord and to have the right kinds of companionship and people time that are life-giving.

I was surprised I scored so high as "nervous and high strung." I often do have immediate reactions to things, however those reactions do not quickly or easily become outward. Introversion causes me to be an inward processor. I tend to stuff a lot of feelings down, which may be why I am so high strung. In counseling, my prognosis eventually was determined to be "general anxiety about everything." I have progressed in feeling things and distancing myself from codependent tendencies that cause anger, worry, and concern. The challenge now is to find proper expression of feelings. This will allow me to carry anxiety and nervousness much less as I find expression for the loneliness, sadness, fear (for others), and grief that I often feel.

While I am very open to new experiences, I tend to be disagreeable to others who are not. The disagreeable piece is what I will need to work on the most. I can be stubborn, not open to various viewpoints, and somewhat stoic in how I deal with other people. I am prone to make judgements about situations without knowing facts and need to learn to ask questions and get to know people and situations before arriving too quickly at judgements. Even the way I ask a question oftentimes presupposes certain things.

Overall, my introversion and open-mindedness have played big parts in my spiritual and ministry formation. I tend to gravitate towards ministry that heavily relies upon my own relationship with the Lord: what I am learning and praying. Out of this has flowed an active prayer dialogue and is fostering an ability to teach and lead devotions.

I also enjoy hearing from the Lord and ministering His heart to people simply by being their friend. Thus, I have always found myself in accountability groups with men and seek out companionship that allows deep authenticity and transparency. Long term, I can see this being formed into Pastoral Care or being a Spiritual Director. Perhaps even Chaplaincy.

The downside of my introversion and disagreeableness is I don't function on teams that well. Even at work, if I do function on a team, usually it is with 1-2 people. I easily feel lost in the shuffle on big teams unless I have a specific function and role.

I can be depended upon to get things done and am very task-oriented. In ministry, I am finding already this can be tricky since ministry isn't necessarily about completing a task (although sometimes it is) or functioning in a set role. I tend to be so open-minded that I can easily lose focus on essential things. So I am constantly needing to refocus myself on essentials and ministry vision that drives the engine. My conscientiousness is invaluable in this regard since it helps me be aware of when I am losing focus or scrambling - as well as to arrive at answers that are satisfactory to help me continue to move forward. My devotional focus is constantly changing, though I have some "constants" that I regularly revisit: Scripture meditation, journaling, and prayer.

My disagreeableness is the area that needs the most work. I need to learn to use these feelings as bridges rather than to see them as barriers. I have a real desire for authenticity and transparency; when I communicate my disagreeable feelings in ways that allows for this (while restraining from using judging words for my feelings), this does wonders. If I am not careful though, this can build a wall rather than a bridge.

If you would like to access this assessment, please access copy and paste the link below:
https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/