Brother Lawrence -- Self contained in God and yet so very humble!!!
I am reading Brother Lawrence's "The Practice of the Presence of God." One of my most beloved books, it has been awhile since I have read this and is a refreshing read for his simplicity in his devotion to God. The following are some insights I gained (thus far) in reading his conversations.
Most surprising:
After getting to through the Second Conversation, I noticed how “self-contained” his thoughts are. Here are some examples:
- “That as for the miseries and sins he heard of daily in the world, he was so far from wondering at them that, on the contrary, he was surprised that there were not more, considering the malice sinners were capable of.”[1]
- “That he had been long troubled in mind from a certain belief that he should be damned; that all the men in the world could not have persuaded him to the contrary; but that he had thus reasoned with himself about it.”[2]
- “That he had placed his sins betwixt him and God, as it were, to tell Him that he did not deserve His favors, but that God still continued to bestow them in abundance.”[3]
- “That as he knew his obligation to love God in all things, and as he endeavored so to do, he had no need of a director to advise him, but that he needed much a confessor to absolve him.”[4]
Having read this many times before, this is not something I had previously seen. Being, perhaps, similarly contemplative and ascetic myself, I think I have not noticed this prior because of my own habit of being self-contained largely in my own thoughts and looked upon this admirably. This is something I am trying to change because my own habits to turn inward often do more harm than good, unless I consciously direct my thoughts towards God (and being active like Brother Lawrence actually helps me in that regard). The difference with Brother Lawrence is his “self-containment” is not bad. I don’t know, maybe it was because of his vocation as a monk, maybe it was because of a particular bestowal of God’s grace to him, but his self-containment (if I were to draw a circle) basically contained himself and God and he trained his soul to be singular in focus to stay within that circle out of love and adoration for God.
Most compelling:
Dovetailing off this thought above, this “self-containment” produced a very humble soul that was singularly dependent upon God, not through any particular devotion or practice except to train his mind to think upon God and to love him (very simple, yet very profound). The last quote, taken out of context, could be seen as pretty arrogant. Throughout the conversations, Brother Lawrence demonstrates humility that produced faith, trust, and simple confidence in God. This humility and confidence enabled him to not dwell on his own sins: “That when he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault… That after this he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.”[5] His self-containment was devoid of various acts or particular devotions that normally a Christian would speak of (I am thinking of means of grace…). In fact, it seems like many of these methods of training the mind to think on the Lord didn’t work for him. At least in the beginning, he felt more devoted while actively doing things in the kitchen than during the solitary times of prayer and meditation because of the fact that the silence caused his mind to wander aimlessly and he couldn’t well control it.
Brother Lawrence speaks that his life practice was more of an "inducement" than an argument to practice as he did. His practice was something that was caught and practiced by modelling rather than by compelling someone to do it because it was the best way to be devoted to God. What does my life induce people to do? What kind of description would someone write about you?
I can only reflect things that people say or have said about me. One close friend says that I am a little Christ and he looks at me the way Timothy looked towards Paul, to follow him as he follows Christ. I try to lead and serve by example and anything I would ask or expect of someone is what I would do myself.
People also know me as “one who wrestles with God.” I am constantly questioning God on things (in my life or in others) for deeper meaning, guidance, the right path, clarity, and certainty. I won’t give up until I have found an answer or guidance that gives me peace (at least for the time being, LOL, then it's back to wrestling).
I struggle with balancing truth and grace but am learning to learn more on the grace side of things. People would definitely say I’m more of a truth person and I’m more likely to share a hard truth with someone first before offering grace (that is, with people I know, not with strangers. The more comfortable I am with you, the more I will speak and share both truth and grace, a heavy dose of truth, followed by grace to let you know I love you and care for you -- hopefully I remember to do that).
I demonstrate love to people. If they have a need, I will try to actively meet that need. It is more rare living in a small town, but I still occasionally have “God encounters” where people in need or with a need are drawn to me for some reason. Maybe it is that fact that I actually look at people I see around me and don’t just focus on the getting that task at hand done (Brother Lawrence may be proud of me…); I am present to my surroundings and the people in them. The Missional Church class and reading is challenging me again, in this regard, to be more attentive to the people around me and be on the lookout for opportunities to show people Jesus and the love and care He has for them. The more time I spend outside of church and with the unchurched, the more aware and open I will be to these opportunities when they come.
posted by fusek330 @ 7:31 PM
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