Process of Change (Seminary Assignment)

http://www.drurywriting.com/keith/1-change.htm  In this article, Dr. Drury outlines a process for spiritual change. In general, I agree with the process steps outlined.

For me, awareness and conviction seem to be very intertwined. It is not so "cut and dry". This is because I wrestle with needing to make a change, with the growing awareness of what needs to change, along with the conviction that there is no other way than what the Lord wants me to do. Once I make the decision God wants me to make, I emerge from this wrestling cycle and move into disciplined obedience and changing grace (which are also very intertwined).

I also find that, oftentimes, I have to go through cycles that may result in smaller Crisis Decisions. Once I make several small changes that can sustain change, then I'll move on from wrestling and making decisions into walking in obedience.

I have also had times when I jumped straight to a "crisis decision" which has prompted both awareness and conviction at the same time. Then through awareness and conviction, more crisis decisions are made which eventually moves me beyond to obedience and finding grace.

The intertwining of both changing grace and disciplined obedience is a result, largely, of having been raised by an alcoholic. In my early years as a Christian, I was easily hard on myself and struggled with self-hatred. This bled into my relationship with God, causing me to be very legalistic in my approach to transformation and how I dealt with sin and struggle. It took a long time and a lot of grace encounters to realize that God wouldn't leave me because I had a struggle or sinned. He would walk with me through the process of change. So now, when I encounter awareness that I need to change, I am quick to see how grace is going to be present to help, which can include making the difficult choices, and always includes an awareness of how God is more present to me as a result of making a change.

My sequenced process of change is as follows:

Model A
1) Awareness of need.
2) Conviction that I'm not meeting need in the ways God intends.
3) Wrestling: With my true need, God's way to meet it (or not, if He says so), and the wrong ways I am going about meeting the need. During this time, I waffle back and forth between 1 and 2.
4a) Arrive at and make small little Crisis Decision(s). Then repeat the process of 1-3 until I’ve made enough small decisions that change is sustainable. Or,
4b) Arrive at and make a large/significant Crisis Decision that sustains change.
5) Find grace is present to help an satisfy in ways I didn't expect, especially helping me be satisfied and content with the ways and means God provides to walk in obedience. I also find He is present to me in ways He wasn't before.
6) Walk in obedience, being disciplined by grace and with an increasing awareness that God is now with me in ways He wasn't before.

Model B
1. Crisis Decision
2. Combination of: Awareness of Need, Conviction, and Wrestling.
3. More Crisis Decision(s), return to 2 if necessary.
4. Grace is increasingly present.
5. Walk in obedience, being disciplined by grace.